About My Octopus Heart

My writing here is about my interior experience of passion in the intimate relationship with my wife, about my experience of my wife’s passion too, and about symbolizing (expressing and representing) such passion to myself and to my wife in order to better understand and appreciate ourselves, our experiences and one another.

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Meaning:
You may wish to first check out my (current) life attitude and life philosophy - that life’s about finding and experiencing meaning; I also have a rather philosophical explication of meaning, but also one more about love and relationships. 

Passion:
Truthfully I’ve only recently learned to think of the babble of thoughts and emotion comprising my interior experience as a valid place to pursue meaning and happiness; yet I now believe the inside place where we love, desire and want, this place of passion where we look for meaning - this is where we are most human. Thus unsurprisingly I also find meaning in symbological expression of my interior, which includes blog posts, stories and poems. 

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Uxorious Erotic Truth:
It is by paying attention to my interior that I discovered my erotic truth: I’m a rather uxorious man and many might say I have a ‘female led’ relationship (‘wife led’ marriage, etc. see my story). Yet my wife, who accepts and loves me for the loving, doting, deferring and uxorious fellow I am, would not say she is ‘in charge of our relationship’, or that she is ‘leading’ anyone. And in many ways she is right; in a very real sense it is only because my passion ‘centers on she’ that it appears ‘she leads me’.

And as we have a relationship first and foremost, much of this blog is about relationships and compatibility in general. Here’s a snail’s shell compaction of what I think I’ve learned about love and relationships: part one and part two.

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Seven Seas (Contents Map):
I also have a mild philosophical obsession with adequately and accurately representing our interior and mental framework to our own selves (e.g. this blog, see map) and effectively communicating it to a partner. In order to grow intimacy (and interior meaning and significance) as each individual uses symbols to express themselves (and a symbol can be anything,word or deed), their partner needs to learn to understand those symbols in the way their partner meant them. And we need to learn to read our partner’s symbols in order to give our partner what they want in the symbols they understand.

Common Themes:
Perhaps the most initially important theme here (and there are many common themes worth noting) is compaction and differentiation, that some people have a holistic and compact view of the world (as my wife), while others a more differentiated worldview (as I do). Neither way is better, but if our partner views something more compact or differentiated, we may want to take especial care discussing it because we’ll likely discover we use symbols a little differently for expression and communication.

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A Last Note: 
I am fortunate to have both enough thoughts and enough time for me to want and to bother writing them down. However I won’t vouch for how readable, interesting, coherent, uniform (I can’t imagine having more than one blog), accurate or adequate the content of my thoughts and writing might be to anyone else’s experience.

Frankly, I don’t particularly like the idea of blogging, of having a ‘world wide web log’; it’s the grammatical horror of the verb ‘to journal’ mixed with the morbidity of world wide exposure. Yet. Not only am I sure only a very few people would really want to listen to all the thoughts I have and post here (I’m reliably told it can be a bit much, you are forewarned against reading too much here), but I’ve also learned it’s difficult to read about the ins and outs of living my kind of relationship (because it’s a relationship whether or not the man is uxorious,  is ‘female led’, or both, or neither) without being constantly confronted with other people’s kink (which I don’t really do) or worse for me other people’s porn (which I don’t really do either).