Fire Before Dawn
July 21, 2010
This was my motive, what I wanted, my desire, my yearning, my passion: to first and foremost, agreeably and willingly do all I could for her so she and I might move together towards, with and in accordance with, her-our-my happiness-passion-zest-fire.
All my uxory might simply be doing what I can to feed her fire and so feed our fire, for by moving in her happiness-desire direction we move in our happiness-desire direction.
That peace, that powerful frame of mind I want and seek for her but also for myself and my sake, is a beautiful, passionate, numinous moment of fire akin to standing safely upon the sun. It is when I am most happy and complete because being her ‘help mate’ is something that completes me. This fire is part of my function, my fulfilling purpose in life, part of who I am – and it is upon this fire I must learn to stand tall – to live, learn and love the things I am meant to while yet here on earth.
~ OH, Fire
My wife wishes to see me and hear my words – not see my words and not hear me, so as a rule she does not read what I write here where my ideas, surmisings and thoughts have their fullest exposition and expression. Yet I do keep her abreast of my essential desire and passion, and apropos of these past few culminating weeks of self discovery she and I have of late been having a wonderful conversation about our lives and love together.
So athough finally finding accurate and adequate symbols to express the love, passion and desire of my experience in our relationship has been truly beautiful, relieving and positive, I must say it pales in comparison to the excitement of sharing with her and the excitement of the road that lies before us.
July 22, 2010 at 6:26 pm
[...] all my recent thinking about our relationship and conversing about it with my wife (using symbols we actually both seem to understand and agree on! (still a little excited)) made me [...]
July 23, 2010 at 3:06 pm
[...] July 23, 2010 A while ago my wife had a bit of a health scare, but she has been recovering, getting out and keeping herself busy. Yesterday was a grand day for her, a banner day – clearly having gotten a bit of her moxie back, and so this morning I wrote her a note, of which I reproduce in part here as again illustrative of that fire: [...]
July 26, 2010 at 12:08 am
[...] to what is most important: with or without this symbol or that meaning, I am glad (dare I say still excited) that my wife is (finally) well aware of my intentions, my desire and passion, to make her happy, [...]
July 27, 2010 at 2:24 am
[...] but frankly, after listening to my wife this evening phrases and variations such as ‘Vanilla Fire‘ have been coming to [...]
July 30, 2010 at 6:25 am
[...] female led), the essence of my experience of ‘control’ is ’feeling’ her passion and her fire in a compact (“for you is for me“) love symbol apprehended by my interior mental [...]
August 13, 2010 at 2:07 am
[...] life is as important as the effect of knowing my essential self on my ability to cope – and only happened recently: finally expressing myself, all my self, well enough in terms my wife [...]