Love Symbol Negotiation, More

Often my wife discerns my present devotion to her by not telling me exactly what to do, because despite the fact it’s easier for me to know and do what makes her happy if she simply tells me, such faithful following orders doesn’t demonstrate careful observation and loving attention to her person and character. She feels my interior space dedication level is proportionate to the level of consideration and planning my choices display, so by not telling me precisely what to do she allows me the freedom to demonstrate the level of my devotion in a method and manner, in a love symbol, she understands.
~ OH, Love Symbol Negotiation

I often point to the concept of a ‘love symbol negotiation’ as an example of how two people in a relationship need to and can work out the expressing of their love for their own selves and to each other. Yet after a conversation I had with my wife this past evening I realize the actual content of this post is still quite relevant in that some of the love symbol negotiation involves learning to intimately understand a person through their symbols, the symbols that are already functional for them.

So yes, I think I could yet do a better job giving her the love symbols that work for her, and I want to too – not simply because I want to give her want she wants and see as best I can to her happiness, but also because by ‘speaking her language’ better I hope to be that much closer to her, and have more of what’s more important to me than a preference she merely tell me what to do to make her happy: the frame of mind of loving her and the experience of doing what I’m supposed to be doing.