Counterintuitive Interior Control

It’s curious, I often suggest to my wife she might benefit from not trying to control things that are essentially uncontrollable – and benefit from being more accepting of the openness of possibility in both the future and the present. This despite my erotic truth, how much I love her passion and fire for wanting, desiring, demanding her environment be different than it is, and despite my second life lesson, how much I love and learn from participating in her process of changing things and making them more the way she wants them.

Yet I think the key here is that I want her to be happy, for if she can be qualitatively happier, especially qualitatively happier more easily, by adjusting and reframing her interior mental framework than by controlling and changing (or having me help her control and change) her exterior world, then I choose her qualitative happiness over my enjoyment of helping her exert exterior control.

As with my erotic truth so also with my second life lesson: my participation in helping her and doing what she wants, what she tells me to do and learning from the experience, is not aimed the doing of exterior things for her (which I do like and enjoy), but is aimed rather at her and her process of attaining her happiness, pleasure and passion. Thus by helping her adjust her interior constructs to better meaningfully fit her experience and so be happier, I can only make myself happier – as in the for you is for me dynamic.