Uxorious: Easier or Just Right

 Today on She Makes the Rules a man suggested the reason he became submissive was because his wife was naturally dominant and, since he didn’t like confrontation, it was easier to simply learn to enjoy, and eroticize, the feeling of disempowerment. The thought reminded me of a time before my wife and I were married and had kids; back then it took me a long time to listen, really listen, to her – and I think I only ever decided to listen because I gave up trying to get her to listen to me. (In all fairness, my idea of her listening to me might have been tantamount to her wholecloth assenting to my point of view.) She was (and is) too strong an individual to simply back away from her point of view, her opinion, her desire and passion.

The thing is, It was only when I stopped and listened, really listened to her, that I realized not only did she have good a points, but that strength of character, that solidity of self, wherein she stood her ground against me hell and high water, was one her most attractive features. Yet here is the point, I had to feel helpless, disempowered against the sheer force of what she wanted, before I discovered I liked it.

I admit, some might say I only liked it because it was easier, yet again, I prefer to focus on what I consciously experience and feel, and what I felt then (and still) is as if I were fitting right in, and coming home.